DEAR SURLY, I am a 29-year-old registered nurse who has never been married. Recently I bought a home, and soon after, an old boyfriend, 'Gary,' started coming around. I was happy about it at first, but he's been staying here at my place for two months now and hasn't paid any rent.

Gary buys his own beer and has brought home a few grocery items from time to time, but nothing to speak of. He had the electricity turned off at his place so his expenses are minimal. He also brought along his cat, but never cleans out her litter box.

He does no housework and comes and goes as he pleases. I do not want him sharing my home without contributing anything. Is there a way to tell him without wrecking our relationship? -- CANADIAN JOAN

DEAR CANADIAN, your relationship is that of a big dirty boot's to a doormat--guess which is you. If you want to persevere that relationship, then you really shouldn't change anything, and with a deal like that you don't have to worry about him leaving ... unless he finds another doormat who puts out.

DEAR SURLY, I'm a freshman in high school who has trouble making friends. My grades are good. I'm learning how to play a musical instrument, and I think I'm a nice guy.

My problem is so many of my schoolmates judge others by their possessions -- cell phones, iPod, laptop, etc. It matters what brand of clothing you wear and how much money you have. If you don't have those things or your parents aren't rich, you're treated as an outcast. Character or talent doesn't matter, apparently -- only money. This has started affecting my self-esteem. What do you advise? -- JUST A NICE GUY IN ARIZONA

NICE GUY, people don't judge you by your possessions. They are just one way inexperienced teen-agers pick out your niche on the social totem pole. If you can't afford to buy your way into a better caste there are alternate ways of gaining a new position. You could start smoking a lot of pot, or you could start dating the mentally unstable members of your class. My recommended method is violence. Next time you overhear a slight/insult/whatever lay down the smack on the verbal offender. Win or loose, people will look at you differently, but I suggest you win.

DEAR SURLY, My wife has been criticizing my table manners ever since our wedding. When we're having dinner, if we're having meatloaf, broccoli and mashed potatoes, I eat all of my meatloaf and then all of my broccoli before starting on the mashed potatoes.

My wife claims it is proper etiquette to rotate one bite of each different food rather than consume all of any one of them before moving on to the next. I have never heard of this rule and neither has anyone else I have asked.

Am I violating a rule of etiquette, or is this something else my wife has 'cooked up'? -- RUMINATING IN RIO RANCHO, N.M.

RUMINATING, I'm not well versed on etiquette, so I asked the nicest, most polite girl I know about this. She replied "that's the stupidest goddamned thing I ever heard!"

See Abby's responses at http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20100219 (past date used becuase today's column sucked.)