DEAR SURLY, I'm a 40-year-old, stay-at-home mom with a 17-year-old and a 14-year-old. Three weeks ago, on my birthday, I found out that I am pregnant. Forty and pregnant --- it is truly a miracle. My husband, who is almost 50, is in complete shock.
He has looked like a ghost since he found out. I finally had an emotional meltdown and told him I don't feel like he's very happy for our unexpected bundle. His reply? 'Sorry, Hon, I'm not!' He thinks he's too old.
My older child has said only one sentence to me since I told her the news: 'You're going to be an old mom.' They feel I have ruined their lives. I feel ... happy. How do I get them to warm up to this new addition to the family? -- OLD MAMA IN WASHINGTON STATE
OLD MAMA, you can't make anyone do anything, including "warm up". Face it: pregnancy is a time of transition and that's tough on some people, but their lives aren't ruined. They may or may get onboard during the pregnancy, and if they don't it'll be hard, but you can do it. If they don't get with you by the time the young 'un is home then you really have a problem, and odds are a cute little guy will win a lot of support.
DEAR SURLY, I'm 53, work in an office six to eight hours a day, and then come home to cook dinner and do household chores.
My husband, 'Todd,' is 48. He works eight to 10 hours a day and expects sex three to four times a week. I'm exhausted and can't do it anymore!
My best friend, 'Mavis,' has been a widow for five years. She tells me she's going crazy because she hasn't had sex in all this time. She asked if I'd share Todd just one night a week. Mavis isn't pretty, but she has a very shapely figure. Frankly, I'm ready to agree, but I haven't mentioned it to Todd.
If my husband agrees, it would take a lot of pressure off me and I could sure use the rest. What are your thoughts on this arrangement? -- NEEDS A BREAK IN PHOENIX
BREAK, if everyone is happy, I'm happy for you. If Todd is for for it, however, you will need to be on your guard about the plethora of issues that spouse sharing can invoke, but if you're up for it, then enjoy your vacation ... take a load off.
See Abby's responses at http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20110601
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