DEAR SURLY, I was criticized recently for placing my right hand over my heart while the U.S. flag was flown and 'The Star-Spangled Banner' was being sung. I was told that the hand over the heart is for the Pledge of Allegiance only, when the flag is present. Is that true, and what is the proper procedure? -- ST. LOUIS PATRIOT
PATRIOT, what kind of stupid rednecks are you hanging out with? Who would make it a point to rib a guy over holding his heart during the anthem? First you need to do the American think, and either assault or sue this critic. After that, put your hand where you want it.
DEAR SURLY, I'm a 25-year-old male who, for the most part, has figured out what I want to do with my life. I'm currently working, and I am also considering entering the military to boost my character and resume. I want to eventually become a lawyer so I can help people.
Something that irritates my family is my refusal to date. I suffer from anxiety attacks just at the thought of talking to a woman or asking for a date. My older sister asks me when I will marry, and my dad claims I'd be a great father. How can I get my family to understand that I'm not interested in marriage and children? -- LOVELESS IN THE SOUTHWEST
LOVELESS, your family is pretty narrow minded. They seem to think there's only one 'right' way to live your life. They're wrong. There are, and have been through the ages, many successful men who opted to forgo family in pursuit of other goals. There is nothing wrong with it.
When the family tells you that you'd be a great father, tell them "Thanks, I would be if I decided to do that with my life ... but I have other plans."
DEAR SURLY, My father has been dead for more than 15 years. Any time my mother sees people she hasn't seen since Dad's death, she makes a point of telling them how happy she is now that he's dead! She doesn't care how loudly she declares it or how she says it.
At my son's recent wedding reception, I overheard her having this conversation with my brother-in-law. He made eye contact with me to see if I could hear what she was saying, then shook his head like he couldn't believe what she was saying.
Surly, it's embarrassing that she does this all the time. If I say anything, I know she'll get mad at me. Any suggestions? -- CAN'T TAKE HER ANYWHERE
CAN'T TAKE HER, you can't shut her up. She's happy, and she's going to go cry it on the mountain. Face it, sometimes it's good when the old ball and chain is kicked off. I don't know why she's so happy, but maybe you do. Even if you think she's crass for saying it so loud and often, but you can really only stop going with her, or learn to just ignore her.
See Abby's responses at http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20110614
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