DEAR SURLY, I overheard my boss talking about something that sounded like a cover-up for an 'accident' involving some people he doesn't like. I would like to report him to the police, but he knows I heard him and I'm afraid if the police question him, my little girl or I could wind up having an 'accident,' too.
What should I do? Several people are already in the hospital. -- WORRIED SICK
WORRIED, if I read this right, this man is a menace, and he needs to be stopped. What if he hurts someone else because you did nothing? If the police need to be informed, you need to suck it up and do it, then take some measures to protect yourself and your family. You've already got his attention, you need to be prepared.
DEAR SURLY, I am a hospitalist, a physician who cares for hospitalized patients. When I enter a patient's room, I invariably find the television blaring. Usually the patient or family members will make no effort to mute the TV, and I must turn it off myself. Because they are paying me to communicate, I would assume they would want to hear what I have to say.
Occasionally patients have expressed irritation at having their TV turned off (they can turn it back on using the bedside control). It seems to me that good manners require one to turn off the television or radio or hang up the phone when the physician makes rounds. Am I wrong? -- HOSPITALIST IN THE NORTHEAST
HOSPITALIST, they're idiots. They love the TV because they are stupid. Odds are they won't understand what you tell them anyway. The best thing that you could do would be to be on the TV. Set up a camera in the hall, go in and change the channel to show your camera feed, and talk to them from there. They still won't understand you, but they will worship you, and that's all you can hope for from cretins.
DEAR SURLY, I have been married to my wife, 'Leigh,' for seven years. We have two sons, ages 4 and 2. I love Leigh and our sons very much.
Over the years I became increasingly dependent on drinking (beer). I have never been abusive, but Leigh expressed concern about it. I didn't think the problem was anything we couldn't deal with.
A little over a year ago, Leigh's mother died of cancer. It has been an extremely emotional time for her, and she has now decided she can no longer tolerate my behavior. She's not even sure she's in love with me anymore.
Hearing her say it made me realize how big a deal my drinking is, and I am committed to changing. But after a month of trying, Leigh still says she would be better off alone. She is starting counseling soon. I told her I'd go with her.
This is a painful period for us, and I can't imagine my life without her and the kids. Is it too late? -- SCARED SOBER IN AUSTIN
SCARED, it's not too late, but it may be out of your hands. If you comport yourself well while drinking, then what is the wife's issue with it? She has her own reasons and thoughts that you may not be able to understand and much less affect. It's good that you're trying, and she's going to therapy. Sounds like you're taking good steps toward keeping together. Keep it up. I don't know what the next step you'll have to take will be, but you will when you see it.7
See Abby's responses at http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20100514
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