DEAR SURLY, My wife was hired for an administrative position. On her first day of work, they called her into the human resources director's office and told her she was being 'let go' because of her website. The site has photos of her when she worked as a model for a large department store. They are in no way provocative or overly revealing. Photos of our children are also on the site.
The HR director told her that one of the other (internal) applicants had Googled her and had seen the site. An image so upset the other applicant that she made a formal complaint, which caused my wife's dismissal!
We consulted a lawyer and contacted the local Equal Employment Opportunity Commission only to be told that North Carolina is an 'at will' employment state and that the employer did nothing wrong. We feel their actions were wrong. Is there anything that can be done? -- YANKEE IN CONFEDERATE COUNTRY
YANKEE, money makes the world go round, and companies have all of the money ... they can pretty much do what they want. Sure, they're pricks, but the law allows it. Bright side is that if this is the company's attitude, it might be more unpleasant if your wife worked there.
DEAR SURLY, My mother got drunk at a family function and started a fight with me. I ended up leaving before it could escalate, but I feel I ruined the host's day. Would it be appropriate to send an 'I'm sorry' note, and how would I word it? -- MAKING AMENDS IN TENNESSEE
AMENDS, you're a big man to apologize though you don't feel you started it. Good man. Personally, I would think a face to face would be easier than a note so you can look the injured party in the eye. Don't dwell on who started it, just let them know that you regret your part in the altercation.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been lucky enough to travel all over the world during our long marriage. Over the years, we collected lovely items from every location.
Now that we are older, we have decided to move into a smaller home, and would like to share these lovely souvenirs with our friends. Although I think 'Ellen' would love to have one of my silk scarves, and 'Peter' would appreciate a pair of my husband's marble bookends, or 'Annemarie' would cherish my necklace from India, etc., I'm unsure that my choices would be their choices.
Would it be proper for us to ask our friends to choose among our treasure rather than our making the choice for them? -- WORLD TRAVELER IN MIAMI BEACH
TRAVELER, if you have them all over, there will still be hard feelings as to who grabs what. Instead of showing them all the stuff you have and letting them ruminate on the things they don't get, just do as you planned, and give each person a hand-chosen gift.
See Abby's responses at http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20100504
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