Commandeered Dear Abby: VICTIM OF HERPES INFECTION FEELS CONSUMED BY ANGER

DEAR SURLY, I recently got genital herpes. I am very depressed over it and am experiencing a lot of difficulties, not to mention the expense.

The man I caught the virus from, 'Jack,' claims he didn't know he had herpes. I don't know what to believe, except that I should be compensated. My life has been destroyed. I hate the fact that this happened and, to top it off, Jack has changed his phone number! Is this a criminal act? Should I take action? -- OUTRAGED IN MISSOURI

OUTRAGED, you're kidding, right? You could have taken some steps to have prevented it, and you didn't. Now you have herpes, so you're going to be ostracized and exiled right? No. You live in a civilized world and we don't do that sort of thing. Life goes on, and so will yours. Geez.

As for what you can do to Jack, unless you can prove that he knew he had herpes and that he was purposefully spreading it, the law won't be too much help. Maybe just quit being a victim and buck up.

DEAR SURLY, I am 35 years old and the mother of two children. The oldest is 4 and my little one just turned 1.

My mother-in-law had gastric bypass surgery two years ago. She lost a lot of weight and looks great, having gone from a size 16 to a size 4.

My problem is the comments she makes about my weight in the presence of others. For example, 'Do you see that 'Cate' is so big-boned and I am so petite?' It hurts, and I don't know what to do about it. What can I say to her the next time she says something like that? -- 'CATE' IN OKLAHOMA CITY

CATE, I think she's hinting that she's skinny and you ain't. Hints like that are childish and rude, so when she says them treat her like a child. Maybe you are big-boned, but it's entirely up to you to decided if you're happy that way or if you want to fight it. When she pipes up, thank her for her grasp of the obvious, and send her to her room without supper.

DEAR SURLY: Early this year, my mother went to the curb to collect the empty trash bin and put it away for the week. As she wheeled it behind her home, she slipped on the ice and broke her hip. She lives alone and was in the back of her property where nobody could see or hear her.

Fortunately, she'd had the foresight to grab her cell phone before she went outside. Because she was unable to stand up she could have frozen to death. She called 911 and within minutes an ambulance arrived to take her to the hospital.

Mom had surgery to repair the hip and is recovering, but it was a close call. This is a reminder to your readers that if they live alone -- or have parents who do -- to make sure to have a cell phone available at all times. -- RELIEVED SON IN ELKHART, IND.

RELIEVED, Mom is smart. She knew that she might need that phone, and she was ready. If everyone could admit he might need help, there would be lot fewer tragedies.

See Abby's responses at http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20100505