Commandeered Dear Abby: NO REASON TO GO IT ALONE WHEN TIMES ARE TOUGH

DEAR SURLY, I am at my wits' end and feel my life is over. I just want to get my life back the way it was 10 years ago. In the past eight years I have lost two jobs. I am currently unemployed and in financial ruin. I see no way out. Every job I apply for wants to do a credit check, so there goes any good job I might have. I have no resources for a counselor since I have no health insurance and nobody for a sounding board. Please help me see the light at the end of the tunnel. I feel virtually alone. -- TROUBLED IN VIRGINIA

TROUBLED, you are far from alone. Personally, I think the credit check to get a job is crock, but if you explain that you've been out of work for a while and had to stretch things too much they should be understanding--and if they're aren't then odds are they would be impossible to work for anyhow.

If you want a sounding board, there are support groups for people out of work all over the country becuase there are just so many out there, and in our messed up culture work is too tied to identity. Check out google or craigslist to find some peers in your area ... if nothing else it'll show you that you're not singled out for tought times.

They say the enconomy is improving, and hopefully that means that a lot more people will have work soon. Good luck.

DEAR ABBY: My father has been short-tempered for as long as I can remember. He never beat us, but he spanked us plenty as a means of discipline when we were growing up. Now this anger is random; he makes every family event a nightmare for anyone involved. He insists on planning events at their home, and screams and degrades any of us 'kids' (and Mom) if we do something other than his way.

Shortly after my sister's divorce a few years ago, my father met with our priest to discuss his anger issues, but it didn't change anything. We've suggested anger management or counseling, but he tells us we're 'overreacting' and blames my sister's drama as an excuse for his behavior.

I am expecting my first child, and my husband and I are afraid of the effect Dad's behavior will have on our little one. My sister's children are all afraid of my father. While they respect him, they constantly worry about when the next blowup will happen. I don't want to cut anyone out of my life, but how can I deal with this? -- EMOTIONALLY EXHAUSTED IN OHIO

EMOTIONALLY EXHAUSTED, nobody needs to put up with that shit, least of all a kid. If he can't be civil, you should exclude him from your social circle. Maybe a little exile will push him to take better handle of his emotions.

See Abby's responses at http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20100405