Commandeered Dear Abby: WIFE'S MOSTLY MALE COLLEAGUES ARE THREAT TO JEALOUS HUSBAND

DEAR SURLY, My husband, 'Hugh,' and I have been married 16 years. We generally have a good relationship, with few arguments. We seldom participate in activities that don't include each other.

Three years ago, I was hired to work in the office of a manufacturing facility. The majority of the workers are men. Although Hugh denies it, I suspect he's uncomfortable about it.

When I participate in company events for employees only, he becomes jealous and rants that it isn't fair for spouses to be excluded. Once in a while, my co-workers and I go out for drinks after work. When I'm asked to join them, Hugh goes on the offensive, demanding to know all the details. He then calls my cell phone repeatedly until I get home.

I'm hurt that he finds me and my associates so untrustworthy. He has met the people I work with and has seen that they're all friendly and happily married. I encourage him to do things on his own with his friends, hoping he'll see that I trust him and will return the favor. What can I do to improve the situation? -- PULLED IN TWO IN PENNSYLVANIA

PULLED, you're husband has trust issues, but that doesn't automatically make him wrong. Is there a reason for his mistrust? Do you have a history of getting in trouble? Has he an ex who did? Maybe there is a reason for the worry, and if you can get at that, maybe you can address it.

DEAR SURLY, Is it OK to have sex when you're a guest in someone's home? I say no, but my husband feels the host knows we're married so it's not inappropriate. I think it's rude and shows a lack of respect for the host.

Would you please settle this once and for all? When we stay with friends, we end up fighting during our vacation. -- UNCOMFORTABLE IN TEXAS

UNCOMFORTABLE, everyone has sex. If you're invited into a home, and given a bed, the host should assume that you're going to use it. If our society were truly civil, then the host would supply a buffet of toys in the nightstand.

See Abby's responses at http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20100402