DEAR SURLY, I am a 76-year-old man who is romantically involved with a 65-year-old lady. She knows I take Viagra. I recently had to go out of town for a week. Before I left, she demanded that I give her my bottle of Viagra. She said she would return it as soon as I got back.
What I did not tell my lady friend is that I don't always need Viagra to 'perform.' Should I remain silent and let her believe that without the little blue pill I'll be forced to remain faithful?
Honesty is the best long-term policy, but is there a limit to just 'how' honest one should be? -- A VITAL MAN IN ARKANSAS
VITAL, first of all, congratulations on your vitality. Secondly, the problem isn't with your omission. What kind of person would want to take away your erection while you travel? With a trust issue like that, you're in trouble whether or not you go with full disclosure.
DEAR SURLY, As a child, it was painfully obvious that my mother favored my brother, 'Clint,' over me. Everything he did was considered perfect and was bragged about. Because I was a girl, I was expected to step and fetch for him. To this day, my opinions hold no weight against those of my brother. I have always been hurt by this, but I have lived with it.
Clint moved 3,000 miles away years ago. I am the one caring for Mom, although Clint contributes financial assistance. When he and his family came to visit for a week, my daughter asked me why Grandma respects and is prouder of Clint's children -- all boys -- than of her.
How do I keep my daughter from feeling resentful, and what should I tell her? -- LESS VALUED IN GREENVILLE, S.C.
VALUED, teach your daughter the word "bigot", and then explain how it relates to race, religion, creed, color, and gender, then mention your mother is one.
DEAR SURLY, My husband's aunt was gorgeous when she was young. At 90, obviously her appearance has changed. After many illnesses, her looks have faded.
When she shows me pictures of herself in her youth, it's obvious she wants a response, but 'you were beautiful' seems cruel, pointing out that she is no longer. To pretend she still is would be disingenuous.
I have been in this situation with other elderly people. What is a complimentary and sincere comment at these times? -- REALIST IN NORTHERN CALIFORNIA
REALIST, I too consider myself a realist, and very pragmatic. Therefore if the woman is fishing for an honest compliment, and it costs you little to no effort to pan out an make her happy, why the hell not? It's not like she's unaware her bloom has faded.
See Abby's responses at http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20100303
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